I think as I get older time moves faster. I have no job, I do virtually no housework and as little shopping (other than of the extravagant gadget purchase type) and cooking as I can get away with. So where have the last ten days gone?
Of course medical related events take up an awful lot of time, not least because they seem always to be mid-morning or afternoon, breaking up the day in such a way that I then think there is not enough time before the next meal to do anything significant – so I read the paper or wander round the internet.
At least the sessions with the sage-femmes have come to a provisional end (to be reviewed in January). But I’ve just finished a series of dental visits, mainly postponed by this year’s cancer dramas. So I now have a new crown in front (replaced free of charge by the dentist because he was not happy with the way the old one kept coming out) and a bridge on top of the three implants put in at the start of the year.
Then of course I have my Monday ‘Gym après cancer’ sessions, which are scarily exhausting. But it is a very friendly and supportive group and the woman who runs the sessions (also a cancer survivor) is great. Just like 60 years ago , I’m somewhere near the bottom of the class. Not surprising since I am one of the oldest participants and probably the one with the most arthritis. It is depressing not to be able to do something as simple as raise my arms above my head (my shoulders are the most seriously crippled bit of me currently) but I’m always, diplomatically, given alternative movements to follow. It does make me feel good to be taking vigorous exercise, even if my weight is slowly creeping back to the pre-op and radiotherapy levels.
Playing the cello also takes up time. Not enough, I know, but the weekly lessons and preparation for end of term events has helped motivate me to at least put in a small chunk every day. Now my other learning exercise is my Arabic classes. After three or four lessons I am on the way to mastering the alphabet (helped by carrying a crib sheet when I walk Poppy, chanting the letters and visualising their three forms).
In the run-up to Christmas the clock is moving even faster. I’m on top of my present organising, but desperately sending my Christmas cards and messages (my main way of keeping in touch with friends from one year to the ext). And I haven’t even started to plan food for the two weeks of visits! With Deborah arriving next Wednesday and Kate and Jude and families just after Christmas, I must do something – soon.
I suppose the final reason why I don’t have enough time is in fact that I don’t have enough energy. I’m very aware that I simply cannot do as much as a year ago and can feel my energy draining away as the day progresses. OK, four operations plus treatment in two years has been a lot. Let’s hope that next year I will get some more bounce back.